Andrew

Andrew is one of the supporting characters. He is large and fat, weighing around 160kg with an extremely large gut. It overhangs his feet so far, he has not been able to see his penis in a number of years. Andrew posesess a very low IQ of around 79 points. This often causes him to make extremely poor life decisions, such as public nudity, public drunkeness and police evasion on many occaisions. He can be seen driving unregistered vehicles at a very high rate of speed on public roads, with absolutely no regard for the lives or safety of those around him. Unable to read, he does not understand any of the road signage, nor does has he managed to finish the popular preschool book, "See Spot". Due to his hamfisted nature, everything that he touches or attempts to modify or "fix" is usually broken, botched up or left in far worse condition than prior to when Andrew actually touched it. He appears to be completely unaware that he has damaged, broken or left inoperable many items he has destroyed with too much force, and a general lack of understanding of absolutely everything on planet Earth. If a person approaches him and points out that he has seriously damaged something or his inability to read and write, this usually causes Andrew to become enraged, resorting to bullying tactics, and use of his brute strength to "smash you now, cunt!" with absolutely no regard for the outcome. Diet appears to consist purely of gravy and mashed potato, cooked via a microwave. Inability to change an empty toilet paper roll sees him tear the roll holder out of the wall and leave it this way. His huge weight can cause toilets to buckle and move from where they are normally bolted to the floor. The sheer force of him excreting poo, combined with his almost exclusive gravy and mashed potato diet, leads to a thick, slimy spray trail of diarrea up the back of the toilet and onto the wall, which he will leave there for someone else to clean up. Showering every other week leaves a very pungent aroma in his bedroom. Known for bringing home diseases such as gonorrea, crabs and herpes, this is then transferred to every person who lives with him, as he casually rubs his genitals with everyone else's towels, picks at his itchy manhood, sniffs his fingers and does not wash his hands afterwards. Occasionally he will have an urge to shave his thick, coarse pubic hair and anus hair, and will do so casually with someone else's razor, with the bathroom door wide open. He will then replace the razor quietly, and leave the bathroom, not cleaning up any of the poo-flecked pubic hair that is now strewn across the bathroom floor, the toilet and the sink. Someone else will have to clean it up as per usual. Disturbingly, he will often go to the toilet and leave the toilet door completely open, and will even attempt to have a full conversation with you, about "smashing some cunt" whilst he is sitting on the toilet, pants down around his ankles, and straining hard to spray his diarrea up the wall behind him. Having a conversation with the toilet door open whilst taking a large dump, would appear to be one of the most enjoyable indulgences for him in life, especially if a female is present, as he believes that this type of behaviour is extremely macho, and a turn on for women everywhere. Indeed, women are seen as objects whose place must either be in the kitchen cooking a large jug of gravy, or in the bedroom, tipping said gravy all over themselves as he enjoys it. Believing himself to be God's gift to all women of Earth, he will happily drive down the street in his unregistered Camry, roll down the windows and wolf whistle at any woman unfortunate to be on the sidewalk, or yell out lewd comments such as "I'd like to tie you up and spank you, you hot chicky babe" or "I have some KFC at home in my fridge, wanna come make out?" or simply "BUUUUUUUUURRRRRP!!!!!!! Phwoar that one had some flavor in it!!!! I can smell me breakfast again!!"

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