Splug

Splug is a crawling tongue monster. He dreams of a life as a neurosurgeon, living in Monaco and drinking himself to an early death via endless bottles of Dom Perignon. He dreams of multiple affairs with beautiful models, and driving through the French Riviera in a Ferrari GTB.

However, Splug is merely a crawling slobbering tongue monster, horribly disfigured and doomed to live a life of surviving on sewerage, toenails and bags of ginger barber hair. He is extremely flatulent, and is able to set his own flatus alight when needed, in order to provide warmth in winter, and as a defense mechanism against weasels. He is also able to burrow into the rectal cavities of various animals for warmth, and during hibernation. Splug was responsible for teaching Billy Idol to sing, and was one of the Twelve Apostles. He was also Monica Lewinsky, during the Clinton scandal, and is the only crawling tongue monster to have ever attained a jet ski license. Splug was a consulting producer on LMFAO's 'Party Rock' music video, and first inspired the 'shuffle' dance step, based on the way he defecates. Splug currently resides in the city garbage dump, where he spends his days plotting to invade Charlie Sheen's rectum, and collects empty yogurt containers and clag glue, with which he plans to build a fully operational inter-orbital rocket.